email - Navadasha

Posts tagged with "email"

Sexual urges of men and women

Friday, 8. September 2006, 18:26:16

"I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT???" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to
sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different, very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery department where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It went completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
I figure that I won't be having sex again until some time after the Spring of 2008 but godammit it was worth it."

Author unknown

6 Comments

Nice thoughts...

Wednesday, 23. August 2006, 16:16:07

email, forwards, inspiration

Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22 Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke.

24. Friends.

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

29. Playing with a new puppy

30. Having someone play with your hair.

31. Sweet dreams.

32. Hot chocolate.

33. Road trips with friends.

34. Swinging on swings.

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

36. Making chocolate chip cookies.

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

38. Holding hands with someone you care about.

39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

40. Watching the ____expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.

42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

43. Knowing that somebody misses you.

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

6 Comments

Need some inspiration?

Friday, 18. November 2005, 17:35:05

forwards, life, inspiration, email

A winner is NOT one who NEVER FAILS, but one who NEVER QUITS! .

A candidate for a news broadcasters post was rejected by officials since his voice was not fit for a news broadcaster. He was also told that with his obnoxiously long name, he would never be famous.
He is Amitabh Bacchan. (India's biggest movie legend)

A small boy - the fifth amongst seven siblings of a poor father, was selling newspapers in a small village to earn his living. He was not exceptionally smart at school but was fascinated by religion and rockets.
The first rocket he built crashed. A missile that he built crashed multiple times and he was made a butt of ridicule. He is the person to have scripted the Space Odyssey of India single-handedly.

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.
(India's president)

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed.
While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."

The group was called The Beatles.

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modelling Agency old modelling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married." She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.

In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere....son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."

He went on to become Elvis Presley.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call,President Rutherford Hayes said,"That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to see one of them?"

When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so manytimes. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."

In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947, after 7 long years of rejections, he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, NY, the Haloid company, to purchase the rights to his invention -- an electrostatic paper-copying process.

Haloid became Xerox Corporation.

A little girl - the 20th of 22 children, was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, shecontracted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralysed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it.

By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become arunner. She entered a race and came in last.

For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running.One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered.

Eventually this little girl - Wilma Rudolph, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.

A school teacher scolded a boy for not paying attention to his mathematics and for not being able to solve simple problems. She told him that you would not become anybody in life.
The boy was Albert Einstein.

The Moral of the above Stories:

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can thesoul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.

You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you cannot do.
And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace. In LIFE, remember that you pass this way only once! let's live life to the fullest and give it our extreme best.

"Failure is the pillar of success!"
"Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win."

All power is within 'U'; 'U' can do anything and everything.
Believe in that, do not believe that you are weak.
Standup and express the divinity within 'U'.
-Swami Vivekananda.

6 Comments

Evil In Chain Letters

Friday, 7. October 2005, 16:15:34

chain letters, email, forwards, funny

Found this while cleaning up my personal mailbox. Its still funny as hell..

**Words of caution**
Some readers may find the material offensive.
Approach with caution.
**Words of caution**

Hello, I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on
final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by
anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking
chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you
send
them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on
her
forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before
her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh,
lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by
every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit. So
basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
forwards.

Maybe the evil letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize
me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus
in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness
Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant
stupidity.
Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me
something mildly amusing.

I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this
poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking
care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own
unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If
it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel
guilty
about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead
elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter
he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up without
a love life for your entire life. Right?

Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find all your
clothes missing tomorrow morning.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
No, really, go on and make one!!!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Wish something else!!!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Not that, you pervert!!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Is your finger getting tired yet?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
STOP!!!! Wasn't that fun?

Hope you made a great wish

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you
don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped
by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones,
THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!

Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for
sending
them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.

Thanks!!!!
Good Luck!!!
-------------------------------------------------------

Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to
the
Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutley no
way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of
bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47
seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people,
you
will die instantly. Thanks again!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not
as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.

So this is how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe
in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only
did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
boyfriend
(hey, somepeople swing that way). They both died and went to hell and
were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.

This Could Happen To You Too!!!

Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip.
Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will
be okay.
-------------------------------------------------------

Chain Letter Type 4:

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of
your friends.

Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side, A friend is someone who
likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like
you've been eating catfood, A friend is someone who likes you even
though you're as ugly as a hat full of arseholes, A friend is someone
who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself, A friend is someone
who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life, A
friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs, A friend is
someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the cheque and
leaves and doesn't speak much English... -no, sorry that's the cleaning
lady, A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he
wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.

10 Comments