Directory of Lost Causes

The headline of this article is, 'Pupil gains marks for exam expletive', and I wondered if it was therefore going to be some rant about the decline of educational standards, or about how terrible liberalism is, both of which would be fair enough, except that, in this case, even without reading the story, I knew immediately that what was at work here was neither liberalism nor decline, but simply a teacher being droller than his pupils could ever dream of being.

The pupil, who wrote "f--- off" after being asked in an English exam to "describe the room you are sitting in", got 2 marks out of 27 and would have got more if he had added some punctuation, chief examiner Peter Buckroyd told The Times.

Well, I suppose 'fuck off' is pretty droll, in a schoolboy sort of way, but I feel like I know exactly what Peter Buckroyd (if he was the examiner in question) was thinking here. I've been a teacher myself, and marking children's papers is always a source of, well, various emotions, including immense amusement. There was no way that Buckroyd would be remotely offended or shocked by the pupil's drollery here (he is, after all, well used to this sort of thing). He might have sighed or he might have smiled, but anyway, he took it in his stride and replied with a greater drollery and certainly a greater magnanimity. Pupils will never admit that they've lost in a battle of wits with their teacher - instead they'll pretend to be cool and bored - but in this case, as an impartial adjudicator, I award top marks to Peter Buckroyd.